It's been a while...
It's been a while since i posted a blog. Well nobody really reads it anyways so screw it! Right? Right. A lot of things definitely have changed since then.. and a lot has also remained the same. Life still ain't fair. it's never been for me anyways. it's been a up and down battle for me. i'm UP when it's the weekends or whenever i get to see my friends and chill wit all of them. i'm UP when i go to flint and eat bowls and bowls of cereal replacing any meals i take after work. i'm UP when i'm playing with my XBOX, burning games for it. i'm UP when people call me up and ask me how i'm doing and stuff, like they care for me. i'm UP 30% of the time. i'm DOWN when i'm all alone, at home or in my car, when my mind wanders off and starts thinking about things i shouldn't even be thinking about. i'm DOWN when i think about the past, about all the good things that has happened to me and i think about losing all of them in an instant, only to find out that they weren't meant to be there for all time. i'm DOWN when i miss my family, my friends and i have no phone card to call them. i'm DOWN when i think about my future, where is it going to lead me? i think about education, work. i'm DOWN when i think. when i think of her. i think of her 90% of the time. even when i'm UP and DOWN, i think of her..

A Story...
since i was born, i was lonely. being the only child growing up, i had nobody around me, nobody to play with. nobody to spend time with. i was miserable until i grew a little older and i started having friends, i had childhood friends. but like every other friend in this lifetime, they just come and go. i've seen frineds just leave me in the dirt, while playing, never to see them again. until i got even older and a litttle bit wiser and i found somebody who replaced every single one of the friends i had growing up. somebody real special and dear to me. someone, as i thought so in my head, could never ever leave me. at least that's what i believed in. i kept reminding myself how lucky i was for finding my childhood friend, whom i was always happy to be with. i said finally my search has ended, i found what i've been looking for all this time.
at least that's what i believed in...
at least that's what i believe in.
what was once found is now lost again.
like the childhood friends who moved on without me. i lost my new friend. just when u think ur older and wiser, it's never true that way. u will get older in time, but wisdom doesn't come with it. if i was wise, then why didn't i think of a way to stop this ongoing cycle i call my life. of friends just stopping by for a while and leaving. if only i was wiser..
but i wasn't and i'm not. no matter how hard some things are to accept, life will make u swallow every bit of it. i was all by myself when it all started, now i'm back to where it all began.

man, this job's killing me today. the bosses came down on me and asked me to clean up the machinery room coz were gonna be doing some serious u-hauling in this joint today. the equipment's movin outside to the rework area and our desks are gonna have to be pushed back to the machinery room and more and more chambers or "ovens" are gonna be filling up all the space in the lab. all in all it means more testing, more work, more time for crap. that's right i call it crap. come on all these testing that we do, u can't do it in the philippines..we basically cook the parts at 60C sometimes 85C or freeze them at -40C to -10C just so we can determine if the parts, the switches, the plastic casing, the board inside, just to see if these won't deteriorate at such temperatures. it made me say wow at first then after that i said this is bullcrap. but as long as i get paod i just keep my mouth shut and just type away all my sentiments. i love this job but i just don't get the reason to be doing it.
so i'm kinda tired again today, been out to the bar drinkin with burat. it's called De Fusion Lounge if i hadn't mentioned that earlier. it's a mosly filipino bar i should say but we do get a good mix of people there like asians, middle easterns, even black and white. it's a nice place. we know the owner very well coz he's bisaya like us. there's a group of friends that go there that are all bisaya and most of the people that work there have become accustomed to us even at the weirdest, most drunk moments. which by the way i had 2 of those moments, where i'd go home driving my car at 90 miles per hour at a 65 miles per hour speed limit and just feel the car flying up in the air. it's a good feeling to have. it's just not safe though...hehe!
so i better do some work here before they clean my ass out of here. until then peace y'all! fo shizzle! dizzle!

time to go home...

hey it's time to go home...sweet! i've been waiting for this since 8 this morning. that's what u get when u go out drinking the night before a workday. i was tired dog, my eyes were like droopy's today. i really didn't have much to do today not until lunch anyways..doug made me take that rig apart. it's a pain in the ass but it's work alright and it's better than nothing and just rotting in the lab. so i'm fine...now that it's time to leave..hehe! i'll be posting more stuff later when i get the chance. God bless u all1 peace!!!

fo' shizzle...dizzle...
alright so everybody's busy doing something and they all forgot about me so i'm sitting here doing absolutely nothing. well actually i've got work coming up but i think it's gonna take forever before i get to do that. so how's everybody been? i noticed that nobody even cared to post a comment on my messages. come on people all it takes is one click on the bottom right of every message that says something about comment or post or whatever and start typing away. go on!!
oook before i get carried away, let's talk serious stuff. first off, my 5-0 lakers..they're good, undefeated, but they friggin almost lost to the spurs in double OT last night..what the heck was that all about. no duncan, no parker, shaq and co. shoulda rolled over that one like an egg roll on a greasy plate at Thuy Trang. but no they had to make it a good fight all the way to the end. i still think the spurs deserved that one after such a dismal effort by my lakers. at least it's good to see kobe back ion action although one of my co-workers still claims it's better to watch the simpsons then my man kobe out on the court. i don't think so...
now i mentioned work..well work's been actually fun lately and so is my life in general. i just tried to focus on things i want and wanna do and i just basically threw all my problems in the dumpster and tried to forget the denouement of my life and it helped actually and i have like 20 ands on this sentence. for the first time i'd be smiling at work, eager to do stuff and get them over with now that answers as to why i'm sitting here, on the computer and typing these words that are unfolding in front of your very eyes. that's probably the only problem i have with this job is boredom and my battle with
i got paid! well that was yesterday. so what is a guy do with his newly acquired money do? shop! and that's what i did. i think i did a guiness book of world record then coz i bought 3 pairs of shoes in a span of 10 minutes, in two stores just a mile apart of each other. i bet nobody ever thought of that feat yet.
yah that's basically what i've been trying to do. trying to please myself in every way imaginable coz i felt that that's what i really needed. all this time

i'm at work...

hey i've been told to do some work on the computer so yet again i'm on it for 8 hours. it was so boring i actually made a poem...here goes:

My Life

i once had a life
thought everything was fine
then one day it was all gone
i know i won't get up soon

my life was full of moments
full of happiness and joy eversince
for a time my life was complete
everything i had, none to delete

but all these wonderful things
are just memories now that i hold on to
the movies, the music, the fun we shared together
goin out to the mall, just being with each other
all the good times and the bad
we did it all just so we won't be sad

for in this life all we ever seek for is happiness
to be happy, to live life to it's fullest

and sometimes even love isn't enough to make one happy
sometimes even memories that linger on aren't enough to make one smile
sometimes even the things around u don't remind u of the person u used to love
sometimes even life isn't fair, it takes what u love to have

my life no matter how miserable it's become
no matter how low i've been
i'd always try to live it as much as i can
and hope that someday God will give me the joy
tha happiness i once had, and lost,
that one day He will lead me to my destiny
lead me to Him...

it's not that great but it meant a lot to me as i was writing this down.

i'm baaack!!!

hey it's me again. i'm back. well life hasn't been kind to me at all. i've had my share of ups and downs but definitely i've been getting the bigger share on the latter lately. my love life? ha! what a joke...let's put it this way, i gave up my all and everything on the one girl i have loved and always have and she just...she just keeps ignoring me, brushing me away..what's up with that? that is so confusing! well i'm really bothered by a lot of things right now and so i'd rather be left alone sometimes. just hand me my kools (or marlboros), my heineken (or corona extra) or my yager bomb (or blue motherfucker) and just leave me be. i wanna sober up everyday if i have to just so i can stay away from the plague that has been haunting me. drinking has taught me one thing though, don't do it if u have to drive afterwards. oh i've been driving now. to and fro work. it's tiring. i'm late all the time. not coz i drive slow, i actually drive fast, it's my luck, everything has been fucking with me lately that even my luck has turned on me. traffic blows. i was almost 2 hrs late today after leaving an hour early coz a bunch of rednecks, namely Mayor Giuliani or should i say former, and a host others had to come to the palace to speak. to speak. here's my speech for u : "shut up!!" well i think that's it for now. work's been ok though. i've gone tired of staring at the computer monitor all day so i must be tired doing this right now...hmmm..am i? i think i am..till next time. just holler back at me. peace!

My very first Blog!
hey what's up? how's it going? this is my first time to make up a "blog". i think it's kind of an online diary of some sort so here i go.

it's been a long day at the lab today. it's funny coz u rarely notice the time when there's a lot of work to do but today was just plain excruciating. i had a bunch of tests to do and shit i had to be very sick today. good think i had some tylenol flu tabs..thanks ach! it really helped but i'm startin to doubt the back of medicine packages coz it clearly stated non-drowsy but the whole 8 hours i was at work my eyes were just burning and just won't open up. i'd literally fall asleep staring at a computer screen or worse, a wall. at least it's all over now. but the struggle continues!

so we headed back home, i was poofed but it wasn't enough. me and itoy went to the workout joint here at the clubhouse. and i ran...i ran so far away...well not that far it was on a treadmill. i walked for about 5 minutes and i was planing to just jog for 20 minutes total but this milf walks through the door and uses the bike machine right by me and i was like, sheeet! she wasn't really that hot or anything but when she took of her shirt to reveal a sports bra/shirt thing, i was like...dammmn! and so i started running for 20 minutes and now i'm exhausted like hell. she's like that richelle chick at work, just oozing with appeal. whatever that means. oh well that's about my time for today. i'll bust in tomorrow and leave u guys a message. have a great day! live life to the fullest!